


Whispers at midnight

by Cr4zydreamer, XEOHE



Series: Under your mask [2]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Ezra has bad coping skills, Gen, He's just having a bad time, Heavy Angst, Isolation, Post-Episode: s02e21-22 Twilight of the Apprentice, References to Depression, Survivor Guilt, Whumptober 2019, because it just gets worse from here, our blueberry needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-12 22:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21233795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cr4zydreamer/pseuds/Cr4zydreamer, https://archiveofourown.org/users/XEOHE/pseuds/XEOHE
Summary: After the events on Malachor, Ezra has been struggling to get over his guilt and tries to find a way to cope.An AU where Kanan never made it out of Malachor.





	Whispers at midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Whumptober 2019 prompts used:  
7\. Isolation  
26\. Abandoned  
29\. Numb

A day had passed since Malachor and Ezra still couldn't sleep. His thoughts were all over the place, the death of his master playing over and over again in his head.

_ “I’m  _ proud _ of you, Ezra. You’ve come so much farther than anyone would have ever thought. Never doubt yourself.” _

It just wouldn’t go away. 

He went out of his way to avoid everyone, Hera most of all. The very few times he had no choice but to interact with them, he made himself as small and unnoticeable as possible, answering wordlessly whenever someone addressed him. Sleep was elusive. Food was no longer a priority.

_ He was no longer a priority. _

Ezra spent most of his time in his room where no one could bother him. Whenever Zeb went in, as was inevitable, Ezra either left their cabin or pretended he himself didn't exist. Soon after, no one came to talk to him, leaving him alone in a dark room with only his dark thoughts. He found the dark to be most pleasing. No one can die there.  _ What good is he to the rebellion if he ends up getting everyone killed by his own mistakes? His own naivety? _

He had to remember that being alone made everything better. Everyone would be happier without him in the way. More rations for everyone, peaceful sleep cycles; the crew will be happier and thankful, but for one thing.

Kanan isn’t here... he’s gone. 

That was the one thing he couldn't undo; the death of a team member, his  _ own kriffing master.  _ Everywhere he looked, he seemed to see traces of Kanan, his master's absence mocking him: the cup he always loved to drink caf from, his speeder bike stowed away in the hangar (riderless forever now), the clothes he'd left on his bunk. The holocron in his drawer.

Ezra let the darkness consume him from the inside out. Had anyone else been Force sensitive they would have immediately been worried and interfered, but Ezra avoided Ahsoka too. He allowed his emotions to swallow him up, sinking deeper and deeper into despair. And if he never came back out of it and disappeared, just like his master…

… then so be it.


End file.
